Five months ago I accepted a job at my son's elementary school as a special education para-educator. I knew when I was hired that I would be working with students that had learning disabilities and behavior disorders. I also knew that I had very little experience with helping kids with those problems, but as the job description did not require any special ed experience, I assumed I would be thoroughly trained in that area before I started the job. That's what any reasonable person would assume, right?
I was wrong. I was very, very, wrong.
On my first day on the job I met with the resource specialist (RSP) who would be assigning me to areas of need. I discovered that I would be teaching reading groups to kids who were not only in need of reading intervention, but were also classified as special needs kids due to learning or behavior disorders. There were all kinds of classifications and acronyms attached to those kids' names. They handed me IEP files and showed me all their test scores. They told me they were weak in auditory or visual memory. They told me that were "over-decoders" and that they were weak in comprehension or phonics. I quickly learned a highly comprehensive reading program that I would be teaching those kids. And then I was given the kids to teach, and all those words became meaningless.
My first reading group every morning consists of an ADD student with severe impulse control problems who regularly knocks her chair over, grabs things, pokes other students, talks out of turn, and refuses to comply with my requests. Next to her is a girl who puts her head down on her desk and refuses to lift it. Next to her is a boy with autism who almost daily has to be sent to a counselor because he becomes belligerent and throws things at me. And next to that student is a boy whose parents will be pulling him out of school in January to go join the circus with them. They don't believe he needs an education. At 6 years of age he still does not know his alphabet. However, he tries very hard in class and is extremely teachable, but I never really get the opportunity to help him because all my efforts are being spent on trying to keep the other students under control. All of these kids are deemed capable of performing in a regular classroom. So they send them to me to try and get them "up to speed" on their reading.
For a teacher with training and support with these types of kids, the task of teaching them might be possible. But I never see my RSP supervisor. She and I never talk. She is so busy that the only time I can catch her is through email, and when I do ask for advice, she tells me things like "Use skittles for incentives." REALLY? Give candy to children with behavior disorders? I know that she is overloaded with kids and feels burdened with no time and no resources, but is that really an excuse for such advice? I know she's under tremendous pressure. Every day we receive more students at our school that we need to fit into our special ed programs without the resources to do so. But that is all the more reason that she should be properly training me. With help, I could be of more benefit to her and to these kids.
There are things she could have told me prior to assigning me these students. Things like "Student 1 has problem with impulse control," or "Student 2 does not like to be touched and has trouble with transitions. He will also probably question everything you do and want to do it differently." Or she might have said "By the way, that kid who threw something at you in class today just had the courts take his mom away from him." Yes. That type of information might have been helpful to know before I started working with these kids.
Oh, wait. There are times I do hear from my supervisor. I hear from her when she wants me to test a student during that huge 10 minute interval I have once a morning to wrap up one group and prepare for the next, or maybe use that time to go to the bathroom instead. Then I hear from her, because apparently I am taking too much time to prepare for my groups. Ten minutes is just too much time for prep work. I should be doing something else with that time, apparently. My bladder and prep time can wait.
Did I mention that the curriculum I've been given to teach these kids is not special ed curriculum? No. It's not. It's curriculum for slow readers. These are not slow readers in my group. They are kids with profound problems who get very little, if any, home support with their learning. The system is trying to keep them out of an SDC placement, but they have no proper alternative solution for them. These are the kids I am given. Me. with no training, and with no support to help them.
I have asked time and again for support with these kids. I have asked for training, advice, ANYTHING that can help me help them. My requests to have students switched into other groups, or to be able to use standard discipline measures have been denied. My requests for a job share position with a more experienced para educator have been denied. It is clear to me that the minimum wage job I have been given is just a babysitting job for kids that the system has given up on. When they can no longer find anything to do with these kids, they send them to me. And then they expect me to teach them something.
I don't teach special ed. I don't teach at all. I work in a monkey house. And that's what my tax dollars pay for, instead of paying for art, and music, and enrichment programs. Don't get me wrong; there are many, many good things about my son's school. The PTA and teachers are wonderful, and everyone tries really hard to do the best they can with what they're given. There is a lot of love at that school, and the upper level grade special ed programs (grades 3-5) are really good. But without funds, the K-2 special ed programs cannot function properly. Without the funds to hire and train teachers, what good is a special ed program at all?
I could rant endlessly about the evils of No Child Left Behind and the president who put in place, but that wouldn't change the fact that the system is broken. It wouldn't change the fact that our schools are broke and our resources are stretched to the breaking point. Nor would it change the fact that the kids without special needs are being ignored while a large amount of our resources go to help the bottom 10%.
My job in education has indeed been an education for me.
*Yes, I stole this title from Kurt Vonnegut.
